Not Again

The rain slides down the windows and blurs the streetlights outside
I open a window and watch the candles flicker in the soft breeze
Our dinner sits cold, uneaten and forgotten
I wonder where you are
And I think to myself
Not again

I put the food away but drink the wine
I sit on the front steps, smoking cigarettes and watching the lightning
The smell of the rain and the earthworms reminds me of when I was a kid
I wonder where you are
And I think to myself
Not again

The rain is warm but I shiver in the breeze
I go inside and take a hot shower until my skin is pink and my fingertips are shriveled
There’s nothing good on T.V. so I blow out the candles and go to bed
I wonder where you are
And I think to myself
Not again

Somewhere near dawn you stumble through the door and fall into bed
The sickly sweet stench of booze overtakes me as you try to kiss me
I pretend to sleep until you pass out then I go to the couch
I wonder where you were
And I think to myself
Not again

You wake up around noon the next day with the same apologies, excuses, and lies
As I look at your bloodshot eyes and your puffy, unshaven face
I know you are weak
I wonder where I’ll go
But I think to myself
Never again